Did I fail my children? Unfortunately my children are part of the over 50% that come from a divorced household. Words cannot express how much I love them, and they know I would do anything for them. I was raised in a household where mom and dad were always there, so I cannot imagine the turmoil and uncertainty my children went through. I wished things could have been different. We found our family fractured and had to make it work somehow. Over the years we have become a big blended family where love is the focus and not our past marriage brokenness. It did not happen overnight, and all the parents in the situation had to be supportive and learn to work together for the children. Once a positive tone was set, it kept improving over the years. I had to be the kind of parent I wanted them to be for their children, and I hope I have done that. Keith, Elizabeth, Cassandra, and Leah are all adults now, and I could not be prouder of who they have become. I even get the joy of seeing them as parents with my grandchildren Aden, Wesley, and Rand. Father’s Day for me is every day.

My situation is only one kind of family where the birth father was no longer in the household with his spouse and the children fulltime. I think it needs to be recognized that there are many others that step up to help raise children. I can honestly say that when my ex-wife remarried, she picked a good man. Over the past 25 years he has been there for my two oldest children as a good father figure in their household, and he truly earned them calling him “dad”. Having more than one father figure is not a bad thing, and I am comfortable thanking the man that helped raise my children. Some people have had adoptive parents, some were raised by grandparents, and unfortunately many had no active father figure in their lives so mom had double duty. In all these cases, people who stepped up to provide additional parenting were a blessing. Thank you to those who selflessly did this. They don’t get the recognition they deserve by a special day on the calendar.

I would be remiss if I did not close this blog about fathers without talking about my father Wesley. He and my mother had a very traditional marriage, and were together until death separated them. I may have seen them have a loud disagreement once. They were in that camp of “don’t fight in front of the children”, which I can say is a great idea. He loved the outdoors, and took us camping, boating, and fishing whenever the weather would permit it. He taught me how to do things myself like woodworking or working on a car. He loved to read and write, and even ran a bookstore at one point. He was an inventor of sorts, so you never know what gadget he was going to come up with. He was an entrepreneur, and ran a construction company with his brother for a period of time. His final years working were as a clerk in the post office, which provided income and stability for the family. He is probably the bloodline for what some of my kids call “the Freestone noggin”. In general he was a quiet man, but I remember some great quotes like “someday gas will be $4 per gallon like in Europe” or “the older you get, the faster it goes”. He also taught me about blended families when they were not the norm, as my brother Larry from his first marriage was raised in our household. And to all my children, he was Grandpa Freestone and he loved to spend time with them. We lost him when he passed away in 2010 in his mid-80s. We love and miss you Dad. Happy Father’s day.