Pick one term that best describes what you are right now. Was it something like bored, lonely, depressed, poor, divorced, single parent, empty nester, alcoholic, overweight, faithless, dumb, or something else you perceive as negative? Notice I say perceive as negative, as some of these situations don’t have to be. After thinking that way long enough about yourself, have you lost hope about regaining a positive outlook? It is a very easy trap to fall into to let your negative perception become your identity, and thus driving your reality. I saw a Facebook post the other day that got me thinking on this topic and it said: “Starting to remember who I am and what I want.” After some major struggle or life event, we can lose ourselves and want to get back to who we once were. I have done it, as I am sure many of you have. How do we get back to us and who we were, with our hopes and dreams? We all want to be more than just a survivor.

I heard a great theory on perception and change, and it stuck with me. It is called the Be, Do, Have principle. It is human nature to want to have something, but struggle with how to get there. This principle recognizes that real change starts with your perception first. As an example, let’s say you are down because you are overweight and want to be healthier. Why not start with “I am healthier” (AKA Be healthy now), so I do the things healthy people do, and then I will have what healthy people have. It does eliminate having to put yourself through some long set of tasks before allowing to let yourself be what you want. I have used this many times in my life and it does work. If you want to have something, Be that thing, Do what those people do, then you will Have what they have. From the moment you decide to commit to overcome something, you should be freed of the burden from it.

Yes there are things all of us want to change, but keep in mind you are greater than one dimension. You are more than what has happened to you. You don’t have to be defined by your brokenness. We all have fallen down, failed, and let it become overwhelming at some point. It may not feel like it at the time, but our struggles make us stronger. It is very likely that something bad that you went through you will draw on when helping someone else later. We should learn from our past, but not trap ourselves in it.

If you are struggling with something, just know that trying to handle it in isolation is the hardest thing to do. We are not meant to struggle alone. There is a power when we connect with the community of others that is greater than ourselves. It might be family or friends. Just be sure if you share with them and are vulnerable that they are safe people, who will support you and not betray your trust. There may be some that will not support or encourage you in your efforts. Being aware of when this happens will help you manage your emotions to not get discouraged, and set healthy boundaries with these people. In fact expecting resistance from some will help you to not be thrown off by it, and instead keep it in perspective and say “there it is”. Then you just keep moving forward.